Choices and Decision Making

Strange how often we duck a decision.

We wiggle and squirm hoping the issue, the event, or the person will go away. Kind of like Pavlov’s experiment, the issues evaporate often enough that we are willing to continue with this dysfunctional behavior. This escape occurs often enough to reinforce the way we ignore reality.

I was waiting for a plane a couple of weeks ago. Sitting next to me in the waiting area was a mother and her 4-year-old son. The boy was cute and obviously bright. For almost five minutes I watched him eyeing the plane’s passengers. When one of them caught his eye, he reacted immediately. He literally dove under the row of seats we occupied, which were now above him. Not only did he take the lightning fast dive, but he also put his hands over his head and shut his eyes. At first, I thought it was a little strange and then I realized that he was scared and not able to face reality. Eventually, he reappeared and boarded the plane holding his mom’s hand.

I share that story because so often those we associate with do their own version of a “lightning duck under the seats." And just maybe you and I do some version of it too.

Choices are varied and decisions are final.

Both choices and decisions have key characteristics that are worth considering.

First, our choices. When faced with an issue, event, or challenging person, it is instinctual to begin to assess our way over, under, around, or through the problem. There is a high degree of discomfort when we do not see a legitimate choice or set of choices and it takes will power, energy, and perseverance to gather up those varied options. It is hard work to first find the dots and then connect them.

Some time ago when I was faced with an issue, I spent a couple of hours exploring different approaches. When I was certain I had all of them outlined, I decided to run the problem by another wise friend. After about 15 minutes of banter and problem exploration, he said, “Why don’t you…?” You guessed it, he presented an option I’d not thought of at all. As it turned out, his was the best of the options.

Here are some takeaways at this juncture:

1.     Take time to understand the legitimate options available to you.

2.     Bring wise counselors into the process.

Here is another insight into the choice issue. The variety of options or possible solutions you can identify are limiting in the sense that you may not have your arms around all of the options. While that observation is intuitive, I’m convinced that the fear of the unknown option is one of the factors that limits, or at least impedes, our willingness to make any decision at all.

Not wanting to be wrong often results in us doing nothing. And that, in and of itself, is the definition of being stuck. It is strange how fear shows up even in the development of choices.

Next, comes our decision - choosing from the identified options. A common idea that arises in this process is the following: once I make a decision I’ve eliminated all other choices. Knowing that when we make a decision, disregarding other options, we are also responsible for the results. “It comes with leadership,” you say. And indeed, it does. However, even if the mantle of leadership rests comfortably on your shoulders, the responsibility for setting the menu of choices, and then making the best decision is often difficult.

I take great solace in two ways:

1.     I have God’s wisdom available to me assuming I avail myself of it through the Holy Spirit.

2.     I have access to a community of believers for insight, wisdom, and support.

Choices and decisions - they are what shape our present and future. And they are ultimately the elements that shape our destiny.

Acknowledging that all of our past decisions are what shape our future, the presumption is that we should make better decisions the older we grow. We have experienced the pain that comes from making poor decisions and have been encouraged by the joy and satisfaction that come from making good ones. When our decisions are lined up with God’s plan for our life, we can be assured of a future with both meaning and purpose.

I’m continually amazed at how much I have yet to learn, which is encouraging in the sense that when you stop learning, you’re functionally deceased. And as Carl Reiner purportedly advised, “First thing I do in the morning is check the obits. If I’m not there, I eat breakfast.” Good choice!

Stay with us as we Journey through Life together. It is a journey that lasts a lifetime.

Bruce

The Critical 50s

Whether you are seeing through the front windshield of your life, you are in the middle of it, or you are glancing through the rear view mirror to see where it went, your decade of being 50 Is critical.

You are too old to be young, and you are too young to be old. You are a “tweener” for sure.

Here are some of the ways life changed during your 50s:

1, The kids left, almost through college, and you can feel the financial strain beginning to lift.

2. Your spouse goes back to work or changes jobs and perhaps you do too.

3. If you have daughters, you have a wedding or two yet to pay for.

4. Grandkids show up and become a focus for your family.

5. You’ve read Bob Buford’s book, Half-time, and you are wondering what going from “success to significance” even means for you.

6. You start actually thinking about a “bucket” list and begin talking about how to fit those items into your life and yes, your budget.

7. You learn how to look up your retirement account savings and are appalled because you were sure there was more in there. You use the provided calculator and learn that your savings will translate into about $400 a month and fear starts to well up from within.

8. The employer provided 401k or 403b becomes more important, all of a sudden.

9. You start spending money you don’t have yet to do some of the things you’ve always talked about but could never afford. Now it is time to “live a little."

10, Your parents are now getting really old. Time and money need to be allocated there too. And the grandkids need stuff, and you are the prime source of stuff satisfaction.

There is so much more so pause for a moment and add your items to the list above. Starts to be a pretty long list. Each decade of life has its issues and no decade is more susceptible to both over and under compensating for what is behind and what is ahead.

And here is the real heart of the financial matter - if you are not ramping up your savings now, the lack of funding for ministry or anything else will be acute.

Said more simply, “You won’t have enough."  

Of course, the earlier you start saving the better because the laws of compounding work in your favor instead of against you. Starting to plan to support your older self early is best. The middle years, during your 50s, is the best time to plan and save. Why? There is still enough time and you’re most likely in a better financial position to put a few more dollars away.

When you are approaching the turn towards 60, much of your future is already pre-determined. Pre-determined in that your willingness and capacity to save has already reached its zenith. This does not mean you can’t continue to work for pay until you are 70 or 75. Often health or your employer have something to say about how long you will continue to contribute to the cause and for the benefit of the cause. More people want to work after age 65, so preparation for the time when the pay check stops is important.

There is more to it than money.

Relationships change as a function of age and circumstance. Learning how to fall in love again with your wife or husband is a challenge for many. My mother in law continued to buy bread and baked goods long after the household was reduced from 5 growing kids to two senior adults.

There is a spiritual dimension to being 50 too. Whatever spiritual connection you determined to have in your 20s or early 30s most likely has progressed without much additional thought until now.

The 50s are that time of both evaluation and re-evaluation.

“What is important and what is important to me now and going forward?” Those pesky thoughts about meaning, purpose, and significance stick their heads up either again, or maybe for the first time. It is tough to play “whack a mole” with them, they keep re-appearing.

I know for myself, the 50s, now clearly in the rear view mirror, was the time when I reaffirmed my faith and began to see all that I was and all I was doing as part of God's grander scheme for my life. As a matter of fact, it was in my 5s that I locked into the certainty that God did, does, have that plan. Once that issue was firmly planted in my mind, the next issue was to understand the plan and get on with it. Perhaps you are still at the seeking stage or not gotten there yet.

If you are beyond your 50s,  similar issues keep reappearing and are uniquely connected to each decade of life that follows. I’m afraid it is not “one and done." Re-occurring examination using the language of “Why am I here” and “What should I do” are foundational to a life filled with love and joy, rather than being stuck in the grasp of discontent and ongoing sorrow, ongoing emotional pain.

Acknowledging the reality of longevity, the fact that our older years now stretch to 30 of them, and that money, health, and relationships will occupy our time until we die, the 50s become the decade of preparation.

Since our 20s, 60 plus seemed a long ways away. The future was represented by the issues of our parent's parents, and was psychologically disassociated from our lives. Then all of a sudden, we are about there and we want to understand the future so it’s unknowns won’t be so scary.

It doesn’t seem to matter whether you are a ministry leader, a ministry worker, or the man or woman in the pew, the 50s are critical and they matter. They matter a lot.

As a reminder, it’s time to come face to face with:

1.     Spiritual realities

2.     Financial realities

3.     Relationship realities

4.     Health realities

Those would seem to be the “big 4." There are lots more little ones, so you might as well start with the obvious and work towards the subtle.

Be affirmed that the 50s are critical. Make the most of them, or if they have already passed you by, reflect on what you learned and maybe what you have yet to do. Then as Nike says,
“Just do it."

In His name and for His service,

Bruce Bruinsma

I’m just about at the end of nothing

I fly a lot.

Most of the time it is the fastest way to get from point A to point B so you can do what you have to do. 

Sometimes God does little (or big) miracles on planes.

They usually take the form of the person sitting next to you. You know, the unusual person that you start a conversation with and are glad you did. Yes, I recognize that this happens only occasionally, but when it does, it's astounding. 

Here is one: 

I was flying from Tokyo to Dallas on a Thursday. The prior Tuesday was spent being introduced and catching up on the amazing work of the underground church in a SE Asian country. As I waited for the flight I reflected on the energy, commitment, and personal perseverance of those I'd met with. I really loved the fact that they were listening and following God’s plan for their country and not being influenced by anyone (or group) from the West.

As we had wrapped up an amazing day together, prayed and confirmed our relationship in Jesus one more time, I asked if there was something special they needed that would make a major difference in reaching an expanding group of people. The leader answered clearly, “Yes, we need the Bible translated into into more of the tribal languages.” Not wanting to reflect total incompetence in this area I acknowledged the request and said I’d see what I could do.

Boarding that flight I was thinking about that problem and trying to conjure up creative solutions, or at least a process I could follow up on in order to find help. I thought of numerous things I could do, “Just call Wycliffe Bible Translators and see if they could help", "Google the topic and see what comes up", "Check with a few friends in the Gideons to see how they could help", "Send a note to the heads of the 20 mission organizations served by Envoy and see if anyone there could be of assistance", etc... At least I was trying to solve the problem with a bit of an action plan.

Settling down in my seat I awaited the arrival of my seat mate. For some unknown reason, I was anxious about who it would be. Maybe it was just the fear of it being a lady with a crying child or the omnipresent risk of it being a transoceanic alcoholic. It was neither. An American man around the age of 50 with the look of being well traveled sat down looked over at me with a smile, put out his hand and said, “Hi, I’m Bob."  I think I was relieved and figured that at least he would not bother me during the hours of sleeping, reading, and catching up with the latest movies. I was wrong. 

He asked a question. I answered. And the talk was on. Determined that we were both men of faith and had some acquaintances in common led me to ask the inevitable question. A question that took this conversation from interesting to “You’ve got to be kidding!” “What do you do?” Doesn’t seem too astounding, does it? “I’m the Regional Director for the Seed Company” was his reply. I supposed he was in the agriculture business and asked, “What kind of seeds?“

Bob smiled with that look signaling he’d been asked the question hundreds of times. “Seeds that grow to change lives and produce disciples for Jesus”. Like you, now I was immediately intrigued. My mind raced to the parables of Jesus about seeds trying to find the connection to his description. No luck. 

“The Seed Company is in the ministry of Bible translation. We are committed, along with others, to finishing the task of translating the Bible for all the remaining 1650 languages groups that still cannot hear or read God’s message to man.”

You could have blown me over with a soft wind. 

Here I was trying to be my creative best and find a way to help the underground church expand their ministry but God already knew the need and was preparing the way for the problem to be solved, the solution discovered, and the path to success prepared. Check this out: The need for additional and specific Bible translation into 5 tribal languages that I was sent to hear about and then carry that priority with me on an airplane two days later only to meet the person who could help facilitate the answer to the need sat down next to me on a plane from Tokyo to Dallas. If that isn’t both amazing and encouraging at the same time, I don’t know what would be.

There is more to the story, which I am saving it for another time. 

Here is another experience that reflects a different need and presented itself on an airplane:

This time the flight is from Atlanta to Charlotte - quite a bit shorter than Tokyo to Dallas. Same situation in which I was burdened with an issue as I boarded the plane. I’m writing a book about what I’m calling “The Retirement Reformation.” The thesis of the book is that there is a need for a big change in the way we think about retirement”. My concern I was wrestling with was how content was going to be received and the need for the Reformation acknowledged. It is just one of those needless fears that come up when you are striking out into new territory.

Again, the man who sat down next to me stuck out his hand and said, ‘Hi, I’m Richard." Some exchange of pleasantries later, it turns out Richard was a businessman who’d sold his very interesting business about 10 years prior. I could not resist and asked him how he liked retirement. That turned Richard loose. He unloaded his 10-year journey of bucket list travel and experiences. And then he stopped and turned to me. He looked me right in the eye and said, “ You know, I think I’m about at the end of nothing."

“The end of nothing?"

“I’ve got to change the way I’m going and find something to do that means something more than doing nothing.” Again, you could have blown me over with a gentle wind. He delivered God’s message to me by way of a living example of the need for “The Retirement Reformation”. We talked some more about what that might look like and how he could explore his options. When we left the plane he had a more determined attitude towards the future and I was joyously encouraged. You see, that brought clarity to the need for changed thinking and confirmed the purpose for my next 10 years. A praise indeed.

So why share those two airplane stories?

Simple. God answers prayer and provides the very human ways we are all called to Build the Kingdom. Imagine the changed lives inherent in the outcomes of those two stories. Amazing! 

Stay with us as we Journey with Trusted Advice along The Way.

Bruce

Mistaking Intentions for Accomplishments

A number of years ago I met with a ministry leader at a Christian College about his retirement plan. I’d noted that he was not participating in a very generous plan provided by the College. Because he was such a senior leader I was curious as to why he was not either receiving the gracious ministry contribution available or making any voluntary contributions.

Upon entering his office, greeting him and making some small talk about “the weather” I broached the financial issue at hand.

“It appears you are not participating in the College’s retirement plan. May I ask why not?"

He looked a little shocked. During his almost 20 years at the college, he was considered a wise elder stateman of the faculty and looked up to by many present and past students.

 “I think I am, aren’t I?”

“No, I don’t think so. At least not according to the retirement plan records.”

He reflected for a few moments and then added, “Oh yes, I was going to sign up.”

Rising from his chair he approached a two-foot high stack of papers. “I know I have those papers here somewhere.”

The stack really was about two feet high filled with loose papers and file folders. He used his two right-hand fingers much like a divining rod running up and down the stack searching…….for those account application forms.

“Ah, I’ve triumphed. Here they are and a little worse for wear. Are they still good?”

As I took the ancient forms from him, flipped through them, and answered his question with a question?

“It looks like the date on these forms is about 15 years ago? Can that be right?”

He took them back, re-examined them, sat back down on his chair, hard and said:

“Oh my goodness, has it been that long? And I never signed them either. What can I do?”

“Let’s sign new ones, quickly, right away. Would you like to know what the account might have been if you had participated?”

“I’m afraid of the answer, but yes I’d like to know as long as you don’t tell my wife.”

After making the calculations, the amount was over $40,000. Back then, $40,000 was a lot of money…..something like $90,000 in today’s dollars.

It is expensive to mistake intentions for accomplishments. How often do we make this mistake, not just with money, but with all kinds of resources and ministry assets?

Unfortunately, we often take the same approach with people and relationships. A person dies and we lament that the time is passed for us to repair the broken relationship. We lament the lost years of love experienced because of all the excuses accepted for not taking action.

A friend shared his lament because of another hesitancy to take action. His wife put a repair project on his “honey do” list. The fountain out front of the house had not worked for almost two years. Now they had the house on the market and an interested buyer showed up. They went through the house and were very interested. When leaving, they observed the fountain and commented on how attractive it was. They then asked, “Why is it not working?”

The realtor checked back with my friend who assured her that he would “Get it fixed, right away.” 

When he checked back with the Realtor a few days later, she told him that the prospects had “cooled” on the house.

"Why?"

“To tell you the truth, the prospects decided that if fixing the fountain that was right out front was not a priority, then what, that they can not see needing attention, is not being fixed either?”

The result was a lost sale and a challenged marriage relationship.

We do mistake intentions for accomplishments while often claiming accomplishments when they are only intentions.

An acquaintance of mine had a stinging way of referring to the act of claiming accomplishments when they are only intentions. He described this process as, “Telling the truth in advance.” My grandmother always referred to that as “lying."

Another difficult aspect to all of this is that we often “tell the truth in advance” to ourselves and those we love. We express it in hyperbole to our associates or anyone else willing to listen. In our Life Group, we quote weekly from the book of John in the Bible: “When you know the truth it will set you free”. The reverse is also true. When you don’t know the truth and/or don’t tell it, is captures and imprisons you. This reality is reflected in so many ways. We are trapped by our own words rather than being freed by them.

Jesus was truthful and intentional about his reason for walking among us and then sending His Spirit to help us along our path of commitment.

“Be faithful for a lifetime,” impact the world by spreading love like yeast and growing exponentially like a mustard seed. When we take this path departing from the “road of good intentions” and walking the path of wise decisions, compassionate relationships and actions that reflect Jesus love while building the Kingdom, the promise of the good life becomes real.

Be encouraged fellow laborers. It is a new day and we can begin again. Make that list of what needs doing, and then get started. Completed priorities and impactful accomplishments leads to a sweet night’s sleep. It will also lead to an eternity of relationships begun with those sweet words, “Well done, Good and faithful servant!”

Stay with us on the journey. Remember that to be faithful for a lifetime there is a funding component that cannot be ignored. Future Funded Ministry is the way we describe that piece to the lifetime of ministry call. Listen to the call and fund the associated action plan. It is worth it.

Trusted Advice along the journey.

Bruce

A Network of Retirement Plans

The term “networking” is exploding everywhere and between so many things.

You can’t turn around without either witnessing, being part of, or suggesting that some form of networking is taking place. And for a long time, we used the term “connecting” as a synonym. We then moved to the word “relationship” in order to humanize the process. I always felt this was a better term and involved the subtle invitation to friendship.

One of the ways that the idea of networks rises to the top of the conversation scale is within the medical insurance world. “What group or network or you a part of?” is a common question as we each try to figure out what is the best medical “deal” in our part of the country. “In Network” or “Out of Network” becomes understood as referring to a service or procedure that is either going to be covered by insurance or not. All too often not!

Congress is now wrestling with finding new ways to increase health services and lower costs simultaneously. Although that thought seems counter intuitive, it’s not. One of the options they are considering is to allow medical networks to extend across state lines. This seems to be a low hanging fruit alternative. Simply put, if you can get more healthy people in a plan it will cost less. We all know that the healthy pay for the physically challenged. Such is the nature of insurance.

So what about other benefit areas like retirement?

A few years ago a friend did a little research and he discovered that there really is no such idea within the retirement plan space. Except for the large church denominational plan, there is no “insurance” for the little guy.

Shining a searchlight on the subject, we know that Unions have had both defined benefit pension plans and some version of a defined contribution plan for years. The development of the Non-Profit 403b Plans including 403(b)(9) Church plans, then the IRA and then the 401(K) provided emphasis to the “saving/investing for the future” movement.

Unfortunately, there are still many small non-profits, corporations, and small organizations that do not provide even these options for their employees. A recent movement to set up statewide savings plans seems to have stalled permanently. Even programs such as SEP IRAs and Simple 401k Plans have not filled the void. One of the reasons given is that it still leaves the organization to set up and manage the plan.

I believe there is also the fear of not knowing how to select a good cost effective plan and then approve a cost effective investment menu are also barriers.

Here is at least a partial list of what is needed to set up a good plan. If we can accomplish that for multiple entities, perhaps we can then set up a multi-employer plan for small churches and non-profits that will eliminate, or at least reduce the cost as well as administrative barriers, while serving the long-term retirement needs of their employees and staff. Remember, each one may have as much as 30 years “in retirement." Or, from a Christian perspective, time to continue “building the kingdom."

Keys to a multi-employer retirement plan:

1.     Legal documentation coupled with an inclusive plan design. One that is good for a wide range of people.

2.     A designed, vetted, and monitored investment menu set up for a wide range of participants with differing amounts of investment knowledge and sophistication.

3.     A cost-effective delivery system that is not geographically limited.

4.     A Retirement Plan Oversight Committee to keep an eye on the plan and direct the educational activities needed to make it effective.

5.     A great online education system.

6.     An inspirational message that will encourage savings and preparation for that 30 years of retirement.

It will take a capable vendor like Envoy Financial, plus 3-5 key church leaders and/or ministry leaders to embrace the vision, put the pieces in place, and launch the project.

It is obvious to all ministry leaders that ducking the question of retirement preparation is like shooting yourself in the foot. It hurts and you can’t go anywhere.

The reality of those 30 years I’ve mentioned above are upon us. Here is one more way that the universal, or expanded church, can work together, be good financial stewards, and promote the growth of God’s kingdom here on earth.

Here is the definition of a Network: a group of organizations that are closely connected and that work with each other

Pretty simple really if the pieces are put together properly.

I would appreciate your thoughts as we grapple with real life issues together.

Bruce

We can be better than this

Is this the best we can be?

There are times when we are challenged as a nation—a people—to look beyond our own individual self-interests. I am reflecting on this point as the “gun control” conversation swirls around us.

During my lifetime, these moments of reflection have come as the result of someone dying. The deaths of Franklin Roosevelt, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, and Martin Luther King are points in time that have become permanent fixtures in my mind.

There are times when we are challenged as families to look beyond ourselves. These too often come as the result of a death. I think of the passing of my mother, father, and brother, as well as uncles, aunts, and cousins.

During the shock, pain, and sadness, I (maybe all of us) allow my mind to drift towards the meaning of these lives. Not only the meaning but also the guiding principles for the future that their lives suggest. Roosevelt's, the Kennedy's, and Martin Luther King’s prompt personal courage in the face of major challenges. Examples closer to home include my mother’s admonition to ‘love and forgive,’ and my Dad’s creative energy and unrelenting commitment to ‘make it better.’ My brother’s life (he died of AIDS) prompted a deeper understanding of the need to persevere.

The more recent shooting deaths across our country prompt reflections that involve social issues and questions that start with “How could … ?”

When Obama stated “We can be better than this,” I echo “Right on.”

Regardless of what you think of his politics, you cannot doubt the value of this very human question each of us must reflect and ask: “Am I contributing to the better?" “Am I sitting on the sidelines?” Or maybe “Am I part of the problem?” President Kennedy’s inaugural challenge to all of us is part of our National heritage: “Ask not … but what you can do for your country!”

It seems—after 7 decades of life—that a key question posed by Martin Luther King is very relevant. He said, “Life's most persistent and urgent question is, ‘what are you doing for others?’”

These penetrating questions about life are independent of politics and cut to the very heart of “Being Human.”

As followers of Jesus, we are challenged to be “better” and to be thankful. When we are not thankful, and our “humanness” takes over, Grace is sufficient. We see this desire to be “better” played out in one of life’s great learning laboratories, developing a Future Funded Ministry. In this laboratory, we have the challenge of a lifetime: creating a financial base from which we can truly experience a Lifetime of Service. A Lifetime of Service that allows us to decide how much better we can be, and to whom we are going to minister, to serve. The Future Funded Retirement Plan provides the freedom to “be better” by doing better.

One of our Plan Sponsors recently asked me, “What is the most important reason for having a retirement plan?” My answer? “We demonstrate our love for God by preparing for—and then choosing to—serve others for a lifetime. That is the heart of Future Funded Ministry.”

We can all be better. Here is one formula: A good plan. A little help. Persistent effort. And a lot of prayer. Join me in the endeavor?

Let me know your thoughts and comments. Our dialogue continues.

Living with Trusted Advice together,

Bruce

Watch out, you'll burn your hands

Even in early old age, there is much to learn. Figuring out what you don't know is one of the hardest. And yes, it's precisely because you don't know.

While this truth seems self-evident, often it’s not. One result of not knowing is that life becomes full of surprises. Maybe not every day, but often. The surprises come rolling in from unexpected places. Most of them show up in human form with people being the primary source. Questions posed by others like, "Did you know........?,or, "Can you...."? Or "Will you......?" are often the harbinger of surprise. Watching people at the airport or in lines or even in church bring sometimes funny surprises and the insights that go along with them.

Growing up in the Dutch Reformed Church meant attending services twice on Sunday. For years I watched with fascination as the big wooden collection plate passed me by. The one with the green felt on the bottom so the coins wouldn't make so much noise or be so noticeable. I once heard a minister pray for more "quiet" money. One Sunday evening, I had a quarter to put in the plate. Mom, dad, and I were sitting in the back and unfortunately, the plate was heavy. A buddy of mine was sitting two spots away and he was not paying attention and dumped the whole plate on the floor. Pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters flew everywhere. Some rolled past surprised feet all the way to the front. Without a thought, I stood, threw my quarter and yelled, "Hey Chuck, here's mine too!"

Sunday in our life group a precious member shared the pain experienced by her 7-year-old granddaughter after she burned her hands on the glass fireplace screen. I never heard of such an accident. She assured me that it happens often. I was surprised to learn about this purportedly common, painful experience. Much to my surprise, I got a text from one of our team members the very next day. He was taking his 1-year-old to the "burn center." Learning to stand up, she crawled fast towards the fire and put her hands on the glass to help her stand.

Here's the point - there is always more to learn.

Whether it’s about ourselves, from other people or the circumstances of life. My grandfather's question still rings in my ears, "Why is experience the best teacher?" Answer: Because it is the most expensive."

A benefit of growing older is that we've had our hands burned more often.

Life's experiences and how we respond to them shape our present and our future.

I know not to throw good money after bad, that simplifying life helps, and that touching the hot fire hurts. 

Now the challenge is to keep learning and the to apply God's wisdom to the next experience. God continues to teach and we can - we must - continue to learn!

Bruce

Thinking about money

Last night we were visiting with a group of friends. One of them asked, “How important is money? Wouldn’t we simply be better without it?”

Almost everyone chuckled at such a naive comment. Then the conversation started to pick up steam. “I know someone who rejected money and lives on just what they need for the day”, opined one man. “Yes,” his wife said, “but his kids are hurting and don’t even have the school books they need”. “I think that is selfish,” chimed in another spouse. And by this time we were deep into the topic and everyone had their input.

“Is money the root of all evil?” started off another train of thought. “Money is just a commodity and is neither good nor evil, just something to be used," was the input of a financial planner in the group. “We all know that it is the ‘love’ of money, not money itself” shared a Bible teacher. You could almost hear most of the group thinking, “Maybe there is more on this we need to think about!”

In his book and video series, God’s at War, Kyle Edelman has a full section of the “God of Money”. He says:

“The god of money has been around for a long time. Back in the day, you knew him as gold or silver, and before that, heads of cattle of animal skins or anything that could be traded. These days he goes as cash, dough, bacon, benjamins, moolah, hundies, and the list goes on. He might take the form of a plastic card or be a file named “portfolios”.”

As much as we may try to ignore the issue, money is everywhere and connects us with virtually everything to do, go, buy, or support. We can’t ignore it. God certainly did not as there are over 2300 references to money or money connected issues in the Bible.

Money is addressed more than any other topic, even critical ones such as love and faith.

I’ve always thought that when God chooses to focus on an issue we need to collectively pay attention to what He is saying. Most of the observations, sharing of wisdom, admonitions, and encouragement about money are like rockets going off to get our attention. Here is some more of what Edelman wrote:

“We pay lip service to the idea that money isn’t that important, but how we spend our time and what we pursue seem to reveal our true belief. Money by the ton is the ultimate dream for so many people. When they talk about an ultimate fantasy, it’s winning the lottery or inheriting a fortune from some rich relative. Mark Twain wrote, “Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship, some worship power, some worship God, and over these ideals they dispute and cannot unity—-but they all worship money.””

The heart of the issue is that we attribute to money the attributes of God: love of, power with, problem solver, encourager, and solace giver.

Those replacements are the idolatry of not only our age but of all ages. As our societies become more complicated the issues become more nuanced but the root of the problem remains the same.

Because of my 30-year involvement in the Retirement Planning and servicing industry, I’ve developed an acute awareness of the issues surrounding money. My own conclusion about the problems it causes has nothing to do with how much or how little of it you have. Here are some observations that speak into the issue:

1.     You learn more about life and priorities when you have too little than when you have too much.

2.     The challenge when you have too much is “What does God want me to do with the amount over “enough”?

3.     It is wise to evaluate your financial situation from the perspective of what you need and the balance for the work of the Kingdom. The alternative thought process is to ask, “How much should I give to God, with all that remains is mine”. The first approach is the best one.

4.     Understanding that we are to be faithful for a lifetime, not just a season, informs our thinking about retirement. Preparation for that time is important. Preparing spiritually, emotionally, physically and yes, financially, is all part of the process of being available for God’s direction during those last three decades and stages of life.

5.     Use the term Future Funded Ministry to describe the financial preparation needed.

6.     The lack of money controls us just as surely as its plentiful availability.

7.    We learn quickly how important money is to us when we start giving it away.

When we give equal importance when preparing for our future ministry and to the spiritual, physical, emotional, and financial pieces to the puzzle, we are indeed living a balanced life. When any of those are out of balance, a course correction is needed.

Knowing God and enjoying Him forever is the best!

Stay with us as we Journey with Trusted Advice along The Way.

Bruce

It’s a Mess Around Here

I’m sitting in the middle of a mess.

I decided to take a break, momentarily leaving the mess to rest and put these thoughts on paper. Well, you know what I mean.

Earlier this Saturday morning, Judy and I returned from a wonderful breakfast at our favorite local eatery. Judy shifted the mood. “Bruce, your office is a mess! Doesn’t Jerry Jenkins advise that where you write is critical to being a great writer?” She stepped into the office surveying the two computer screens, the various short stacks of papers, three piles of books, my briefcase satchel with an almost out-of-date projector and my old computer. The computer is a little sad having done yeoman-like service and now sitting against the wall with no cords, attached to nothing. “I can’t believe that you’ve still got your hat collection displayed on the shelves where you could put your books?” Now she was getting close to my soul as those hats represent 40 years of travel and worldwide experiences.

Upon closer inspection, I realize that there are 4 inboxes, too, each filled with important stuff. All stuff covered with good intentions and commitments to future action. With the launching of the Live with Meaning Foundation and the (now being written) book, Retirement Reformation, I’m clearly at a crossroad and I need to make some decisions.

 As a matter of fact, committing to the obvious but painful solution, I’ve now collected and piled almost 30 books on the round office conference table.  At least they, the books of all types, are off the counter top and my extended desktop. In order to make room for them on the table, there is now even more stuff on the floor. “Beautiful day”, I muse staring out the window. The guilty feeling of procrastination starts to well up prompting re-focus and forcing the already recognized priority of Judy’s directive, “everything with a place and everything in place”.

I don’t know about you, but when someone I love and respect directs a “truism” on me, I get a little defensive. “Ugh, it’s not as bad as it looks and I can straighten it out easily." Sure I can.

When we designed our home in the Black Forest of Colorado Springs, Judy designed what she affectionately designated her “Command Center”. Yes, a place for everything and everything in its place. For her first Christmas in our house, I found an old school craftsman to make a red neon sign that aggressively declares, “Judy’s Command Center”. You ask, “What does she have in her Command Center”. As I explain to guests who wonder, “Her desk, file cabinet, computer, sewing machine, paper shredder, paper cutter, ironing board, drawers bursting withsupport papers and utensils, stamps and envelopes, a contemporary washer and dryer, sink, and upper cabinets with tools, bottles of cleaning stuff, and a hand drill dangling a long orange cord.”

As I write this, a new vision of what my office can be starts to emerge. After all, I did design it at the same time Judy designed her Command Center. When the design emerged, I remember thinking about the size, function, and experience that I wanted in the office. “It must have gotten lost during the normal activities of daily living stretching out over the last year or so”. I think I can reclaim that vision if I focus, prioritize, and organize.

Dedication to a cause and the perseverance needed to accomplish it are important personal attributes.

I’ve learned that without them, not much happens, and they are now part of who I am.  Applying those traits to my office space is what Judy is challenging me to do leading to a result that I want too. Although, it’s taken me a very long time to acknowledge the obvious.

Re-organizing my writing and study space is now taking on a life of its own. First, the fact of a random mess needs to grow, not diminish. The reason is that the old files in my office file cabinet need to move downstairs to join the family archives that go back a generation. Once that’s done, then the sad storing of my “hats of travel and history” begins. The white plastic container sits in the middle of the room waiting for the gray locking lid to be attached and then to transport it to those same archives, on the lower level. A certain sadness goes along with these acts starting the new direction understandably coupled with an energizing tinge of anticipation.

Judy just came home from her Saturday journey of visits to the Library, local thrift store, laundry, and picking up what is needed for the rest of the weekend. She peeks in again, rolls her eyes, and concludes, “Oh boy”. I am quick to remind her that “You have to clean out before you can clean up”. She nods knowingly and heads for “Judy’s Command Center”. The neon sign isn’t on, but it soon will be.

I’ve written enough to make the point of this missive.

Acknowledgment of a problem is the first step to its solution.

Then, my Grandfather’s key insight, “A job once begun is half done." Finally, vision, purpose, and perseverance will take you to a better place.

Now I need to follow my own advice and finish the job. It really is “a mess around here.”

Bruce

Stay with us as we share Trusted Advice along The Way.

The Retirement Reformation: an emerging movement

In our prior text, we explored the context for the launch of the Retirement Reformation. We left our exploration with the following:

Next we will examine the actual components, the basic elements, the critical pieces of what makes up a movement. What are the essential themes that need to present? How will those themes be identified and communicated? and, what will be the Leader’s (s) role?

A.W Tozer brought this perspective:

““With the goodness of God to desire our highest welfare, the wisdom of God to plan it, and the power of God to achieve it, what do we lack? Surely we are the most favored of all creatures.””

The two ingredients - the two keys to movements whether social, political, or religious are rooted in a growing realization that there is a problem and the consequent desire for change as an answer is a component to solving the problem.

Another good description of the elements needed to identify a movement is: 

A pervasive and identifiable issue that is coupled with actionable solutions appealing to a certain group of people. With those keys the door is unlocked and then opened for a movement of significant impact resulting in societal change.

Neil Smelser’s observations about social movements help develop our understanding of them. He identified another key element with what he called an Initiating Event. This type of event is one that leads to a chain reaction of events leading to a growing group of people reacting to the event and a movement is born.

It has occurred to me that for any movement to flourish, there are a couple of needed elements:

“There must be an element of push back against some established norms or ways of doing things, as well as a positive energy moving the solution towards something very new.” I was momentarily exhilarated with this insight. “This Retirement Reformation” will be an exciting journey! Discovering new ways of thinking and doing while replacing an entrenched way of thinking about the 4th Quarter with something dynamic and new.

A friend of mine was scratching his head the other day during our weekly time together. He reflected, “You (referring to me) are a strange combination of Serial Entrepreneur and a pragmatic systematic builder”. I was waiting for more and he added, “It makes it hard for some people who don’t relate to one or the other part of you to stay connected.” I took that in and thought about it for a couple of days. My conclusion is that he was right.

Movements are similar in that they can be somewhat confusing. They are the beginning of something new while needing the structure and pathways leading to increased clarity and subsequent action. Whether it be life’s journey or that of a movement, there is bound to be some confusion, distortion, and re-orientation before the results are clear.

No doubt, the Retirement Reformation will exhibit these characteristics too.

Leaderless Leadership

The difference between leadership and spiritual leadership is the source of the vision that drives the enterprise, mission, or ministry. Here we acknowledge the role of the Divine. Next, the difference between Top Down Leadership and Leaderless Leadership is the degree to which we open our minds and hands to welcome and include others in the growth and development process. Acknowledging the source of the vision for the movement is a great starting place.

When we acknowledge God’s role in implanting the vision in us, it is easier to become His follower rather than always trying to establish proprietary ownership. It is easier to be guided by His vision as the source of the Top Down Leadership and Inclusive leadership to be the earthly format for growth.

If the idea of Retirement Reformation is to go viral, it will be because it has been God led, openly engaging, and energetically promoted. The role of the leader is to bring a compelling interpretation of both the problems and solutions with the transparency of purpose, while including other leaders and communicators into an ever expanding circle of trust.

Here will be the challenge for all God draws to the issue of aging and the Retirement Reformation:

To listen in new ways and respond in different ways to God’s call and divine purpose for all, both now and for a lifetime!

Let’s personalize it: You will listen in new ways and respond in different ways to God’s call and divine purpose for you, both now and for your lifetime.

If so, consider this prayer, “God, give me new ears to hear your call, wisdom to discern your preferred future for me, strength to carry out your will, and the ability to consistently reflect Jesus to all I meet.”

Join the Retirement Reformation, the movement for you.

If you prayed that prayer, you are now prepared to actively join the Retirement Reformation. So you understand a little more about what you are joining, here is a review:

Four key elements to a movement:

1.     A common problem rooted in an easily observed and experienced reality

2.     A common lexicon describing the problem and the solution

3.     A common methodology for communication and interaction among the like minded

4.     A common agreement about the solution to the problem and actions that emerge as a result of the solution

5.   A common commitment to following God’s plan for our lives: a commitment that extends for a lifetime.

Stay with us as we journey with Trusted Advice along The Way.

Your thoughts and prayers are always appreciated.

Bruce

Is it time to get the movement organized?

The opposite of organization is chaos.

Or, at least a significant absence of system, process, and structure. When there is no organization, frustration reigns. I read somewhere that if you don’t know where you are, you can’t possible determine where you are going. And if you don’t know where you are going, you have to settle for any port in a storm. Hardly a positive picture.

At our church, we have adopted technology that allows our Pastor, Bob Bender, to post his message outline online prior to the service. Each member can access those notes prior to the service and follow along during the service with the option of making our own notes adjacent to his. Bob is an outstanding preacher bringing clarity to key issues of life in such a way that they are both memorable and operational. Being able to add our own notes, reflections, and observations so easily enhances an already great worship and teaching experience.

It is snowing hard today in Colorado Springs. Being housebound, I took the opportunity to review the message for tomorrow from the ongoing series about Leadership. In it, Pastor Bob lays out the need, reflecting Jesus, to give leadership to yourself. Next, still reflecting Jesus, to lead and impact others. Continuing the progression, to then learn how to lead leaders and possibly to develop the skills necessary to lead a movement. That progression really struck home for me.

As we are about to launch the Retirement Reformation movement, I was attracted to that last step in the progression about “leading a movement."

What makes up a movement anyway?

How is it different from an organization, a company, or even an “idea”?  Once defined, how then does one lead it? Immediately my thoughts went to some obvious historical movements; our countries reach for freedom from tyranny. Moses and one million+ Israelites becoming God’s people in the wilderness. Gandhi using “non-violence” to overthrow an empire. The Protestant Reformers changing the face of Europe and subsequently impacting the world as a result of the movement of the many and diverse reformers. On and on it goes. Donald Trump even likes to talk about “Trumpism” as a movement as does Bernie Sanders - now there are two extremes for you!

So what makes up a movement and then how is it lead?

Way back in 2001 in a book published by the Johns Hopkins University Press entitled, Productive Aging: Concepts and Challenges the Forward written by Dr. Robert N.Butler, President and CEO pf the International Longevity Center-US, began this way:

Will 69 million baby boomers suddenly drop out of the workforce when they turn 65? Is it difficult to imagine this generation, with its talent, education, and experience, idling away the last 30 years of life?

In the 1950s sociologist, Ernest Burgess wrote that older people’s lives were notable “roleless.” Little progress had been made since then. Today (2001), the issue takes on new urgency as the average life expectancy rises to 76.6 and evidence suggests a cause-and-effect relationship among health, productivity, and longevity. Studies begun in 1955 by the National Institute of Health have demonstrated that older people who have goals and structure have a better chance of living longer. Thus, health supports productivity, and productivity encourages health. Productive aging would appear to be in the best interest of both society and the individual.

In his book entitled “Tribes”, Seth Godin writes:

Some tribes are stuck. They embrace the status quo and drown out any tribe member who dares to question authority and the accepted order. Big charities, tiny clubs, struggling corporations—they‘re tribes and they are stuck. I’m not so interested in those tribes. They create little of value and they're sort of boring. Every one of those tribes, though is a movement waiting to happen, a group of people just waiting to be energized and transformed.

A movement is thrilling. It’s the work of many people, all connected, all seeking something better. The new highly leveraged tools of the net make it easier than ever to create a movement, to make things happen, to get things done.

All that is missing is leadership.

He goes on to say, “The real power of tribes has nothing to do with the Internet and everything to do with people. You don’t need a keyboard to lead…you only need the desire to make something happen.”

Then there is the countercultural work of Brafman and Beckstrom entitled “The Starfish and the Spider” that opens with this statement, “The unstoppable power of leaderless organizations.”

We are at unusual times of “leaderless leadership” and the parallel need for continuity, consistency of message, and clarity of purpose. How then is a movement led? And how is that leadership different from management?

The journey of the Retirement Reformation will include the struggles that this dichotomy reveals. How will the many divergent voices, both secular and faith based, coalesce and become a movement? And, how will it be led?

Is it time to get the movement organized?

Next, we will examine the actual components, the basic elements, and the critical pieces of what makes up a movement. What are the essential themes that need to present? How will those themes be identified and communicated? And finally, what will be the Leader’s role?

Stay tuned as we continue on a journey together, with Trusted Advice along The Way.

Bruce

How do we get to our preferred future?

I recently met with a friend who wanted to talk about the future of coaching within the Christian community and he made a very clear distinction between “coaching” and “mentoring”.

He brought some clarity to me on the subject when he realized I was trying to put the concept of coaching into the behavior modification school of thought.

Mentoring has the context of advising or a low level of training, while coaching asks the question, “What if?” What if God does have a preferred future for you? Would you want to miss it?”

I certainly do not want to get into a semantic argument with all those out there who are big into either mentoring or coaching. What interests me is that there are approaches to changing lives that are emerging that are teachable, reproducible, and sustainable.

I’m personally part of a Convene group of CEOs. It has been an excellent venue for safe conversation and learning from each other. Christian Leadership Alliance is developing a similar model, and for a number of years, we sponsored the CEO Forums that are still active. Other groups such as Vistage, EO, and even YPO are further examples of value and this felt need to develop intentional relationships to address common issues and solve similar problems.

There is another similar, yet different process or methodology rising up to meet what will be a growing need.

It is Spirit-Filled Coaching. Here are the aspects of it that excite me:

1.     God has a purpose for each of our lives (perhaps one for each stage of our lives).

2.     We all deserve the opportunity to live a spirit-filled life with Jesus.

3.     With coaching, we can find God’s purpose for our lives and make it actionable.

4.     The result will bring meaning to us, a purpose for us, and a tremendous asset to our communities!

With this approach, we not only answer the question, “What if?” but we also develop a plan to change - not just a time to reflect and ponder. Don’t we all wonder, “How do I figure out and then get to my preferred future?”  In conversations and certainly in the audiences I speak to, there is always the question or the person(s) that come up afterward that want to know the answer to both those questions.

I’m reminded of the George Foreman ad, “George, what do I do with my idea?” and his answer, “See my friends as InventHelp”. Similarly, “Bruce, how can I know my preferred future and then put it into action”. My answer should be, “See my friends at Spirit-Filled Coaching!”

To my knowledge, no organization like that exist but it should. And in God’s time, it will.

Further, in this conversation with my friend, he made the point that “Transformation always comes in relationships.” How true that is!

Our spiritual transformation takes place in our relationship with Jesus. Our physical transformation takes place best within a group. Our financial transformation occurs as we interact with those we care about and are financially responsible for.

Oh, also as an intrinsic part of the building of a Future Funded Ministry Plan otherwise known as “Retirement”.

I certainly have learned the most during times of pain, particularly the pain of a strained relationship. It seems like we all learn the most from pain and suffering and not so much from joy and gladness. Strange isn't it? I wish it were the other way around and I could learn from the joy and gladness of life while just enduring pain and suffering.

My friend reiterated that coaching is “solution focused” while mentoring tends to be more focused on learning.

As we launch The Live with Meaning Foundation with its siren call to the Retirement Reformation, there will be a growing need to help people discover their preferred future and help guide them into their unique action plan. And if it is true, as I believe it is, that God has a plan for each stage of life, the need to be part of a periodic discovery process will only accelerate. As a faith-based community, we will want to share our discoveries about this process and raise up those who God calls to help - Spirit-Filled Coaches. Then, when we stretch out God’s call for a lifetime, not just a season, there may need for an additional ministry - Q4 Spirit-Filled Coaches. 

If you, your church, or organization would like to learn more about the Retirement Reformation that is breaking out, reach out and let’s talk.

Stay with us as we navigate the river of life with Trusted Advice along The Way.

Bruce

Retirement means applying life’s lessons

As our physical capabilities decrease, our wisdom increases.

Have you ever thought about that? When we couple that truth with this thought, “Retirement means less doing and more being” and we enter the 4th Quarter, Life 3, we are initiating a new way of thinking, doing and being.

What is the last painful experience you’ve had that taught you something?

Each life experience is a teacher that uses your experiences as key life lessons. Those learned lessons accumulate over time and when taken as part of our “river of life” journey, lead to wisdom and the ability to give leadership, wise counsel, and reflective insights into those key issues of life.

Years ago, our church in Oregon sponsored a seminar series with the compelling name of “Death and Dying”. When I saw the announcement in a church newsletter, I pointed it out to Judy with the comment, “You’ll never catch me alive in that seminar”.  Of course, I thought the play on words was cute but much to my surprise, Judy looked at me and said, “We’re going!”

Needless to say, not only did we go but the experience changed our lives. We explored all the myths and realities associated with dying – the physical, psychological, and sociological patterns around it as well as the finances surrounding it.

There were a number of lessons learned that have been extremely valuable as I have counselled with hundreds of people over the years. It is valuable now as we put our “end of life” planning into place.

And most importantly, by facing those issues early, it removed the mystical fear that these mentalities are simply just part of our being human. We also know that Jesus allows us to have a healthy attitude about our own final stage of life. It frees me to look forward to that time of final transition to the eternal kingdom.

Another perspective, as I dealt with the deaths of my parents 15 years apart and the death of my brother one year after my dad. Nothing can make those events easy, but my experience allowed to deal with them in the best ways possible.

What are the experiences in your life that have prepared you for future challenges?

Mind you, you may be in one right now. We all have these undesirable experiences because that is the way God trains and prepares us, for those future challenges that lay ahead. By the time we are in our mid to late 60s we have identified the lessons learned through our youthful exuberance and bad judgment. We know about the hard lessons learned during our child-raising and career-building years.

And without question, there is both pain and much pleasure that prompts our learning during our years of marriage. I certainly have learned a lot about what not to do in mine and Judy’s 55 years of marriage. And yes, love conquers a lot as does God’s directed decision on both of our parts to “not get divorced.” Committing to be stay committed during all those times during our marriage when emotional love is not there, yet knowing that “this too shall pass”. Somewhere I read that “love is a decision” and experientially, I know that is true.

My grandfather used to ask me, “Bruce, why is experience the best teacher?” When I could not answer his question, he filled in the blank. “Because it is the most expensive”, he’d say. That teaching came when I was young and it continues to inform me today.

We are wiser when we are older because of all the lessons learned in the prior years.

Recognizing that there are three stages in retirement helps me visualize the ongoing learning process. As a matter of fact, the learning of each stage of life, including those in these 4th Quarter years, provides the platform for service to the Kingdom in each of the next stages, including the last one. When you stop learning, you die!

The river of life flows from the exploration stage of youth to the providing stage of the working years and then into the meaning and purpose years of Kingdom building.

Unfortunately, many do not see it that way. The reality is that the experiences of yesterday and today truly are the stepping stones to the action plans of tomorrow. Those action plans extend for a lifetime and not just for a season.

What we have become as a result of those experiences then guides our actions in the 4th Quarter. We reflect who we have become and who we have become reflects the decisions we’ve made at each juncture of personal choice. God has a plan for each and every stage of our life. The Kingdom impact we have is then a reflection of the lessons learned during the “doing” stages that came before.

Now is a good time for a few moments of reflection and listening to God because He has a living message for each of us.

Listen and live, learning more about your role in building his Kingdom for a lifetime!

Stay with us on the journey of life with Trusted Advice along The Way.

Bruce

When does your calling end?

So, when does your calling end?

Here is amazing news: It doesn’t!

God’s call on our life is exactly that - a call on our life that extends for a lifetime. On the one hand, we say, “I knew that” while on the other we don’t often act like it. By saying we don’t act like it means that as we approach an event called retirement, we treat it as if “old age” has pounced upon us, our contribution to God’s cause is behind us, and the preparation for death has begun.

We have some cultural confusion about this with the last 30 or so years of our lives. It seems like looking through dark glasses on a night with no moon is often the norm. Obviously, you can’t see very well and seem surprised when the timeline stretches out for years instead of days, weeks, or months.

We are surprised when key life issues such as “meaning” and “purpose” are either overlooked, ignored, or subconsciously pushed away.

There is a tendency it seems to obsess over money issues while the gentle whisper of God’s spirit in our ear is either ignored or drowned out by the cruise ship horn, the railroad whistle, the rushing of the wind in the car, or the flight attendant’s call to “buckle your seatbelt”.

Another favorite way to deny, duck, or dismiss the ongoing call to build the kingdom is the clear cultural mandate to retire and do nothing.

Our cultural misconception over the meaning and implication of retirement, old age, and the reality of longevity is huge.

Let’s face it, retirement is a real event and a point of transition from the working for pay to the active application of all you’ve learned and experienced. There is also a point of passage between the retirement and the active application and it is a time of prayer, reflection, rejuvenation, and redirection. However, this point of passage can only go on for so long until the lack of meaning and purpose leads to a life of lethargy and a broken spirit.

Just observationally, we all have examples from our circle of friends and acquaintances that we can point to where a person is active and applying their experience and accumulated wisdom to help others, lead organizations, and bring energy and new solutions to old or nagging problems that seem to hang on forever until someone actually solves them.  And then, we seem surprised when we discover their chronological age. The challenging issue is that we seem to observe them and compartmentalize them as unusual or an exception.

If they are the exception, they shouldn’t be. You and I need to jump into that compartment with them and open ourselves to God’s call on this initial stage of “retirement”.

Another problem is that our churches often aid and abet this identity and activity crises by a never-ending focus on the youth while not understanding that the older generation may be the best mentors the youth could have.

And on a practical note, it is the “gray hairs” that have the greatest impact on keeping the Church budget fully subscribed!

A friend of mine attended a church start-up and growth training class. The class lasted a couple of weeks. When he returned I asked him the single most important issue he learned. His answer: “If you don’t have gray hairs among the ponytails, the church won’t make it.” A pretty down to earth and realistic assessment of the value of the intergenerational mix of believers.

Then there comes a time, as the river of life flows, when another point of passage is timely.

It’s the season when energy is a little less, time to reflect is appreciated, and you are available to speak into the issues of life and the issues of organization and ministry.

You’ve seen a lot, experienced a lot, failed a lot, succeeded often and learned from all of it. When a board is struggling with an issue, they finally turn to you for some experienced observation and sure enough, you have some. Not only that, sometimes, to your surprise, your input is not only right on, but is even an “elegant” solution, as a friend used to observe.

So moving from Active Application to Wise Counsel is a real shift. Not to say that wisdom did not previously exist, of course it did, but somehow is different with a weight lifted off of your shoulders. Sometime during this 2nd stage of retirement health issues become more insistent. The issues may be yours or your spouses but either way, they are time consuming and often frustrating. I remember talking with my mother when she was in her early 80s, and here detailing her day by sharing, “I have a hair appointment at 9 and a doctor’s appointment at 2.” I would then wait for the rest of the schedule and there was none. Interestingly enough, I had a physical a couple of weeks ago, and it took a good three hours. Always interesting when perception and reality meet.

I recently invested a couple of hours googling “old age”. After those hours of research, I sat back and thought about what I’d read. Then I could not decide whether I was encouraged or discouraged. Seems like most think the onset of “old age” starts about 80. I’m not so sure as a life expectancy into the high 90s is pretty realistic for many and I don’t think I want to be old for that long!

Next time we’ll explore that “old age” research and see what we can learn together. In the meantime, whether you are just coming out of Life 2, as Bob Buford describes it, or coming into Life 3 as I’ve taken the liberty to describe it, make sure your points of passage lead you from success to significance and from working to living.

Come along as we journey together with Trusted Advice along The Way.

Bruce

Reflective Sharing: The Third Stage of Retirement

It is amazing how the short term memory goes first.

Those life experiences and events of long ago seem to grow clearer the older we get. Where I left my keys or glasses grow into great mysteries, while the experiences of long ago that shaped my life leap into the present with great clarity.

This reality is one of the reasons that the third stage of retirement, after the age of 85 or so and extending to perhaps as late as our early 100s, is so critical.

Like the first stage of Active Application and the second stage of Consultative Input, there is a point of transition between stages where a Strategic Pause is necessary and the point of passage is a reality. A time of poignant reflection and recognition that building the kingdom and fulfilling God’s purpose, your life has changed again.

It is also a time of inward reflection and outward sharing. We recognize that as health deteriorates wisdom accelerates. It is a time when it is critical to include other people in your life, especially those you care for and are younger. A time to make yourself available and not curl up into yourself.

A time to recognize the benefits of longevity and not only the benefits of lost youth. It is a time to encourage and share life’s experiences, travels, struggles and joyous moments. To remember not just with nostalgia, but with purpose. A time to draw from what God has provided and a time to apply his provision for the benefit of others. 

There needs to be a clear recognition that “God isn’t done with you yet”, and that all the years of experience, learning life’s lessons, and finding out what is true now have great value. That value can then be realized and delivered not by leading, and not by consulting, but by sharing.

The truth is that this is a time where your advice may not be sought but providing it is critical. A time to share wisdom not necessarily as counsel, but as insight into the issues that confront those coming behind.

A friend recently shared with me about the life journey during retirement of his mentor. They have known each other for almost 30 years. He has appreciated the active involvement and leadership when his mentor was in his 70s as well as wise counsel during his 80s. And now he is watching him retreat into himself in this 90s. I asked him what he would expect from his mentor during this last stage of his life? He responded, “I wish he would just give me a call and say, “I’ve been praying for and about you and my sense is that there are a couple of things that you might want to consider based on my experience…..” No active application, no strategic input, just wise, “reflective sharing”.

We have the ability to reflect on life’s experiences and lay out issues and principles in ways that will be helpful to the next generations.

Here are some of the key themes to follow during the times of Reflective Sharing:

1.    Bless others with your life

2.    Live past your regrets

3.    Enjoy the little pleasures and the fruits of your life

4.    Encourage others by writing and sharing

5.    Yes, an even “closer walk with thee”

6.    Become a great storyteller

7.    Be ready to let go of old friends and find new ones

8.    Share your preparation for the Next Stage of eternity

9.    Don’t isolate, don’t vegetate, spread love around

10.Connect with all who are younger because just about everybody is

Reflect on those characteristics and share your insights.

Stay with us on the Journey of Trusted Advice Along the Way.

Bruce

Ministry for a Lifetime

Key insights by Kevin Pate

Kevin Pate is an elegant spokesman for and about the intersection of the marketplace and ministry - something that impacts all of us. I’ve written extensively about the funding source for future ministry which I have titled “Future Funded Ministry”. Now, we are exploring the expanded and key faith basis for understanding what it means to be Faithful for a Lifetime.

A key foundational component of that is understanding the issue Kevin Pate addresses in this article, “We are all ‘Ministers’ together”. John Calvin and other reformers talked about the “Priesthood of all Believers” and it is clear that we now need a Retirement Reformation. The message that follows is critical to understanding and embracing that Reformation. 

Proclaim That God Calls ALL People into Full-Time Christian Service

Every Christian has been called into full-time ministry.

When Christ commissioned His followers, He did not designate a select few vocational pastors, missionaries or faithful congregation members, but rather He appointed all believers as ministers of the Gospel.

“But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light;”

— 1 Peter 2:9

The work of the Kingdom falls squarely on the shoulders of all Christians with no calling greater than another. Unfortunately, many marketplace people are taught that the work they do is in some way inferior or less valuable to God. They designate themselves ‘second class’ citizens in God’s Kingdom because their work is somehow less holy or sacred than that of church workers.

But there is no biblical tier system that ranks the callings of believers as higher or lower than another.

In fact, the marketplace Christian who spends six days a week outside church walls is no less important or valuable to the Kingdom than the Christian who holds a prominent position within the church.

“Who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began God’s universal calling for all Christians is into full-time ministry.”

— 2 Timothy 1:9

We are "on-call" 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year with no part-time positions available. All are called to live their lives according to biblical truths and principles on a daily basis – not just on Sundays. Nowhere in scripture is there an option for casual or intermittent Christian living. Instead, there is a charge to continually abide in Christ, dwelling in the Lord and actively participating in His kingdom moment by moment of every day. It is, after all, the key to experiencing the fullness of God and fulfillment in the life He has called us to live.

Actively Dispel the Sacred/Secular Myth

Many Christians envision church and work as two separate entities, one of which is ‘sacred’ and the other ‘secular’. But the premise that there is some kind of imaginary wall dividing one category from another is a lie that needs to be exposed.

We should not isolate any part of our lives as secular when Scriptures clearly state that everything is sacred in the eyes of God.

In fact, Christians thrive when adhering to the truth that work and faith are so intricately connected that they cannot be separated in the mind of God.

One problem with "sacred" and "secular" grouping is it suggests those labeled areas of one’s life must exist apart from each other. It presents the idea that those areas are somehow morally and spiritually incompatible. Yet the necessities of living compel Christians to constantly cross back and forth from one to the other, producing personal turmoil and division that causes our inner lives to break up – the antithesis of a unified life.

A quick reflection on this message:

This impact of this message is to engage every one of us for a lifetime of ministry.

As Christian leaders, this message informs not only our personal involvement but the concurrent responsibility to engage our staff and those we influence with the same message.

The reality for each of us and those we impact is that all are in full-time Christian service and we are to be in ministry for a lifetime, not just a season.

Because of the 30-year retirement time frame and the reality of longevity, it is time we embrace a rethinking of retirement - a Retirement Reformation.

Stay tuned for more!

Come along on our Journey with Trusted Advice along The Way.

Bruce

We may have “mission” and “money” backwards

We may have the “mission” and “money” relationship backwards.

We implement mission and then we pray for the funding - for the money. Maybe we need to intentionally implement the money plans first and then pray for the mission?

What is knowable and rests on God’s principles more clearly than financial stewardship?

This extends to the areas of spending, saving, fundraising, business for mission, and investing. All of these money related areas are addressed both biblically, educationally, and by experience. We know how to do it but often we don’t exercise our stewardship muscle to follow the path to ministry or personal funding to support ministry. One reason for this is that this mentality takes intentionality, hard work and some serious focus. For another, it requires tough decision making, follow through, and both organizational and personal discipline. All things in seemingly short supply for many of our faith-based organizations.

We can dig a little deeper into this insight that we should manage money and listen to God’s instructions for our lives rather than manage ministry and pray for the money.

Providing for financial needs can be and often could be on autopilot in the sense that again, what to do is knowable and attainable, it simply comes down to execution. This doesn’t mean that it isn’t hard, but God has already provided for those activities that are being blessed and we need to follow the general path laid out in order to garner the resources so badly needed by all in legitimate ministry.

The path to resources is identifiable. God’s plans for our lives and ministry start from a zero base and extend to infinity. Surely, there are basic principles of daily living that are common to all of us and often we fall short and are thankful for God’s grace. I want to highlight the specific and unique calling that God prepares for us, his ability to strengthen and then uphold us in the tough times to accomplish what He’s laid before us.

The unique role that exists in every stage of our life is to put our shoulder to the wheel of building His Kingdom here on earth.

Let’s take the point of retirement as the beginning of one of those life stages. We know that there are three stages in retirement and that each stage has some different, yet identifiable, attributes. What you do when you are 65 is different than what you do at 95. What is knowable is that entering into the first stage of “Active Application” with the money issue satisfied, you have put a Future-Funded Ministry plan in place and now have the flexibility to respond to whatever God’s call for your next stage of life is.

We can notice two issues:

1. If you are not financially prepared, your options are more limited and your focus is on money, or the lack of it, not impacting people by listening and following God’s call on that stage of your life.

2. You have sufficient financial resources but don’t know what to do with all of your time. In many ways, this circumstance is even more difficult than the first. You are truly lost because you have not consciously participated in the process that God has been using to prepare you to minister for your lifetime.

Let’s view it this way - during the working years your job, growing family, outside interests, etc... gave meaning, purpose and focus to your life. Now you retire and there seems to be nothing to fill the void.

I recently was at a social dinner and the man sitting next to me was complaining. As he was former military, his financial needs in retirement were pretty minimal. He said, “I wish I had never retired. I’ve always had a sense of duty, meaning, and purpose in my life. Now I only have money and time”. When I asked him what he did, he replied, “Walk my two dogs who are the joy of my life, and help my grandson with this Cub Scout activities.” I asked, “Would you like to do more and do you think God has something specific in mind for you to accomplish before your die?”  He said, “I don’t know.” He’d be a lot happier if he did.

No meaning in life and no purpose for life leaves a lifetime of reduced joy and little happiness.

In 1 Peter 2:8-9 it says,

Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another, love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous not returning evil for evil or insults for insults, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.

These are basics on how we are to be blessed. Live like Jesus and acknowledge his call on your life. Doing what you know needs to be done financially and then praying and listening to God’s call on the next stage of your life may be the way he intends us to live.

Us always asking Him to solve our monetary or financial problems must get a little wearisome when He’s shown us the basics on how to deal with them. They are available for all to see and do. What is unique and lives much more in the shadows is consistent engagement with His plan for our lives. We need to spend much more time and energy on that.

Stay with us as we continue on life’s and ministry journey, with Trusted Advice along The Way.

If this idea prompted some new or reflective thinking, pass it on to your network and comment as you are led.

Bruce

The 4th Quarter Connection

How important is the 4th Quarter of life?  Is it a time of winding things up?

A time of self-absorbed pleasure? A time of travel, leisure, and fun with friends? A time when those friends die and loneliness sets in? A time of departure? Or, is there an alternative?

There is certainly nothing wrong with some time off. There is certainly nothing wrong with working on your “bucket list”. And, if you have saved and organized your family and life to allow for some space to relax, the entitlement to enjoy the above is well deserved. However, the leaders of the 4th Quarter Connection in Australia believe there not only is more, there should be more and lives will be enhanced because of it.

Judy and I were blessed to visit our new friends in Australia for two weeks. And yes, Australia was on our bucket list! While checking that off, a much more valuable experience for us and for the attendees of the five-day conference occurred. Christian Management Advancement (CMA) has launched a ministry focused on the Q4 Connection. We met with hundreds of 4th Quarter Christians looking for further insight into answering the question for themselves and for the organizations/ministries they represented,

What is God’s plan for your 4th Quarter?

The question assumes two things:

First, that you have a spiritual journey and that this spiritual journey connects you with God, Jesus, and His presence with us, the Holy Spirit.

Second, it assumes that He has an actual plan for your life and that that plan extends for a Lifetime. As a matter of fact, there were a couple of tag lines for the day. One was, “Faithful for a Lifetime” which is the tagline for our new Foundation, Live with Meaning. The other was the rhetorical question, “How do you plan to spend the rest of your life?” I suppose another way of understanding that question is, “How has God planned for you to spend the rest of your life and how are you going to respond to that plan?” Duck, ignore, refute, or embrace?

Richard and Leona Bergstrom, authors of the Book “The Third Calling”, were the other plenary presenters for the morning session at each of the venues. Their insights into the importance of meaning and purpose and how to begin to connect with those issues in your life were thoughtful, stimulating, and set the stage for the day of learning, interacting, and being personally challenged about the topic.

You can connect with my message by reading prior blogs but the bottom line is that your Third Calling extends for a lifetime!

For some reason, the time horizon of the 4th quarter is not well understood and is not internalized by either the Australian culture or ours here in the US. It seems that when we respond to what our cultures call retirement, there are only two points on the time horizon.

The first being our transition out of the work of our career and into retirement and the next is the time of our passing when we die. Everything in the middle is unclear and often lacks direction. There is definitely something wrong with that perspective involving a huge void with diminished meaning and purpose and certainly not reflective of any plan.

So if we accept that there is a plan and also a void, how do we respond? What do we do? How do we think about the issue and approach for ourselves, let alone for our spouse, family, and friends?

Acknowledging that there is a need to find the meaning and purpose for the last 30 years or so of your life and creating an action plan for it should certainly be in the top five issues of your life.

Choosing a career, choosing a mate, connecting and committing to follow Jesus, and choosing how to spend and invest into the 4th quarter are certainly among the top turning points in all of our lives. Unfortunately, we often don’t make good decisions or lack making a decision at all and end up drifting from one life stage to the other.

One key element to bringing meaning and purpose into the 4th Quarter is to understand it’s characteristics. By characteristics, I mean understanding what in fact makes up that fourth quarter from taking the puzzle pieces of the prior three and making intentional choices about how to respond to each of those puzzle pieces.

There is so much to be said about this topic. What are your thoughts and perspective about this 4th quarter issue? Share them with us and if you think the topic worthwhile, share the content of this blog with others on Facebook, Twitter or other social connections.

Stay with us on the Journey with Trusted Advice Along the Way.

Bruce

Living to 156

For some, the idea of living to 156 is really scary.

Many are not prepared for tomorrow, regret yesterday, and are confused about today - confused or comatose. Comatose in the sense that they have no meaning, no purpose, no direction and no action. The idea of being a part of something bigger, God’s plan for their lives, is both frightening and almost beyond belief.

The reality is that some act as if they believe that God’s plan for their lives stopped at retirement and now it is all about their plans.

It is just not so!

Connecting with a God that cares, prepares, and equips us is outside of their conscious, or even unconscious, thought process. There is also the fear of accountability and the desire to escape to the safety of doing nothing.

This “doing nothing” can take on a lot of characteristics: endless rounds of golf, ceaseless travel, unending searches for the “best” of something, continual quests for the perfect location, constant hunt for the perfect relationship, and always measuring yourself against an ideal that does not exist in reality and that won’t bring fulfillment or happiness.

Note the key characteristics listed above. They all have to do with self and have little to do with others.

From a human perspective, there has been significant research about happiness. There is both happiness in the moment, and then there is happiness about your life situation, which really measures the difference between being happy with your life and being satisfied with it.

Eric Barker identified these keys to happiness to the positive benefits of aging. In addition to the five keys listed below, as Christians we put one more at the top of the list:

Carrying out God’s plan for our lives and making a difference for others because of our thankfulness for what He did for us is critical to embrace.

Because Jesus makes the eternal difference in our lives, we are to represent him and make a difference in the lives of others. It is that simple, it is that easy, and it is so difficult for many.

Friends:

Having individuals and/or a group of friends makes all the difference. Within a spiritual community, a minimum of 10 friends seems to be the number that impacts satisfaction and happiness. Jesus created the Church to represent Him to the world and to provide the support we all need. It is here, where two or more are gathered, that critical support is understood and helping others is experienced.

Have Goals:

When you are passionate, focused and directed by God’s calling on your life, the result produced is that you will be more energetic and confident. That energy and confidence will play out with a happier and perhaps even a longer, fulfilled life.

Have A Life Story:

Self talk reinforces life’s values and helps us to learn from life’s experiences. Sharing those stories with others then takes those values to another level for our internal compass as well as helping others to evaluate or develop theirs. Those stories play out during the second and third life stage of living with meaning and purpose for a lifetime. They are the content of Reflective Input to and for others.

Money Isn’t The Answer:

The answer to happiness does not lie with the amount of money you have. It is what you do with the resources you have that matters. However, I have observed that if you have sufficient resources, it buys the time to both reflect and act in ways that can change the world.

Keep Growing:

We are either growing or shrinking. We are either retreating into ourselves or we are reaching out to others. Happiness is a direct reflection of our consistent willingness to move forward, expand our thinking, interests, relationships, and service to others.

So where does living to 156 come into all of this?

It is just a matter of perspective. Do you know anyone who suggested how long they will live? They either focused on that specific number of years based on the longevity of their relatives or for some other reason. My grandfather died at 57. My uncle lived under the cloud of expectations that he too would die in that same general time frame. That thought process impacted much of what he did and how he planned the 4th Quarter of his life. Because God was not done with him yet, he grew another whole company to significant size after age 60 and contributed mightily to the growth of God’s Kingdom well into his 80’s. What more might he have done if he did not respond to that perceived cloud that surrounded him for a number of years.

We often get what we expect. Contemplating a life expectancy of 156 changes the way we think and act about age 65, 75, 85 and even 95! At age 75 I certainly feel and act younger with a vision of 156 years of happiness and productive ministry! Let’s try it and see how it works out. There is more meaning and purpose available to us for a lifetime.

Find it. Use it. Make a difference. You’ll live longer.

Contemplating an active life to 156 is not scary if you embrace it and surround it with the process that influences others and fulfills God’s plan for us.

Because so many Christians understand retirement in such a limiting way, it prevents them from understanding their 4th quarter from God’s perspective. They either are in denial about the stage of life they are in or have not yet adopted the “language of longevity” and understand God’s ongoing call to contribute to the expansion of His Kingdom for a lifetime.

Thanks for coming along on the Journey of a Lifetime. Share it with others in your circle of Social Media contacts and those you influence.

We will continue to explore Trusted Advice along The Way.

Bruce

Insightful Stewardship/Consultative Input: The Second Stage of Retirement

In Bob Buford's book “Halftime – Moving from Success to Significance” he uses the term halftime to describe the time when life is re-evaluated and future direction is determined.

There are always key life points when both circumstance and life seasons produce an opportunity for review, reflection, and evaluation.

In prior editions of this blog, we have explored the first stage of retirement, or the 4th quarter, which I entitled “Active Application”. As is true with each transition to a new stage of life, there is an opportunity to review, reflect, and evaluate once again.

In Buford’s book, the timeline he mentions is Life 1, Halftime, and then Life 2.

I want to suggest that there is then another Halftime after Life 2 which leads me to entitle it Life 3. This is the 4th Quarter and perhaps the place where we can hear the Third Calling, as it is referred to by Richard and Leona Bergstrom in their book by that title.  

Let’s call the points of transition between life stages, where review, reflection, and new direction emerges, a Strategic Pause with Tactical implications.

Moving from Active Application to Consultative Input begins in your late 70s and extends through your mid to late 80s. While none of the last three stages of Ministry for a Lifetime have hard edges, there can be significant examples of overlap and extension, life, energy, willingness to engage and impact during these life stage transitions.

So what does this time of Consultative Input/Insightful Stewardship look like?

Primarily it is more collaborative and less personal. Collaborative in the sense that the focus is on using a lifetime of experience, the longest period of time walking with Jesus, with the greatest understanding or who you are to speak into the situations and circumstances of life.

During this stage of life, you either have the opportunity to begin shrinking your world and limiting new life experience or expanding the world and bringing great wisdom and even new solutions to key issues, problems, and opportunities.

In other words, you can speak wisdom into reality and expand your world, not shrink it.

Remember the perspective that the ceiling of each stage of life is the platform for the next. Willam Barclay brought an interesting perspective to this conversation when he said,

“There are two great days in a person’s life - the day they are born and the day we discover why.”

— Willam Barclay

 I am suggesting that being in God’s will and listening to His calling is a lifelong process and continues during those times of strategic pause that accompany each and every life stage.

The Consultative Input stage is the time to begin to lead with ideas and input from a chair of collaboration rather than from a racetrack of activity.

I have connected with a wide variety of people and have asked for their feedback regarding this stage of life and here are some key themes that emerged:

1.     A commitment to walking alongside others

2.     A developed capacity to “speak into” a situation or a life

3.     A time to expand your influence and not shrink your neighborhood/world

4.     Mentoring rather than mining – begin to mentor the mentors

5.     Bringing unexpected blessings

6.     Increased humility and appreciation of and for “differences”

7.     “Just a closer walk with God”

8.     Be an encouragement and a living example

What can we expect from those in this life stage and how can we encourage them to really see their Kingdom Value?

John Kennedy said:

“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or the present are certain to miss the future.”

— John Kennedy

The temptation during this life stage is to live in the past but it is actually the time to expand your world and help build the future!

Use your past and the present to inform your input about the future because there will never be a better time to make a difference!

Stay with us on this journey through the three life stages of life’s 4th quarter.

Your comments and responses are always appreciated.

Bruce

Building Trusted Advice along The Way